Today I'm participating in the ((Insecure Writer's Support Group)) -- click the image above to check out other people's entries!
Since it's November- it's also NaNoWriMo-- and boy oh boy! If the task of getting 50,000 words down in one month isn't enough to make you an insecure, nervous wreck-- I don't know what is! Being a writer takes work-- it takes WRITING. When you have two kids, finding the time to write isn't as easy as it sounds.
On the days that I don't get the chance to write a smidgeon of my WIP (writing for my 2 blogs does not count as "writing" time for me)--I feel like a failure. Thoughts of doubt race into my brain, "How am I going to do this?" But, then I remind myself-- I'm 26 years old. I have a lot of time in my life to dedicate to writing. A lot of time. And, not everyday is going to be a day that I can get down everything I want.
You can't write a novel overnight- and like Hemmingway said- "The first draft of anything is shit." But, I want to hit the 50,000 word count for NaNo BADLY! (Is it for gratification purposes? I don't know-- but it would be pretty awesome to see a NaNoWriMo winner badge over on that side bar!)
Plus-- I just want to get all of these words out of my head! Somedays I'm such a terrible listener because I'm working out dialogue or plot ideas... I just need to find the dang time to get them out. Luckily my friend Sarah gave me a tape recorder-- so the days I can't sit down and write it out, I can talk into the recorder quickly and listen to it later.
Not only am I afraid that I'll never find the time to finish a novel-- I'm also afraid that my story will be completely uninteresting/horrible. I'm currently writing a dystopian YA Adam & Eve story for NaNo-- and after that, I plan on writing a dystopian story about the split of the USA. Gah. (Yes- I was a Creative Writing major with a minor in Political Science for this very reason!)
Writing makes me nervous and anxious-- yet, also makes me feel alive. Now I know why they say all writers are crazy.
“So what? All writers are lunatics!” -Cornelia Funke