Friday, January 27, 2012

She tried to wipe "pee" on a kid...

I really should not be blogging right now.  At noon I have a hardcore French Exam and I should be doing some last minute studying... But, I should be doing a lot of other things that I don't do.  So, I'm totally going to blog for a minute.

So... a couple days ago...  I picked Eva up from preschool and... there was a note on her sheet about an "incident" that had happened earlier in the day.

Apparently my child put her hand in a puddle of water in the bathroom..

and then...

proceeded to taunt another child that she was going to "Wipe Pee on Them."


You read that right.

I hate when stuff like this happens at school.. because I have to act surprised at her behavior and that I feel it's completely unacceptable..

But, I secretely think it's funny... And know that it's completely my fault!

We're goofy... OKAY!?
It's probably because she has seen me numerous times walk up to her father after being in the bathroom, and wipe my wet hands on his arms and sweetly say, "We were out of toilet paper," and then burst into hysterical laughter. 

Stupid things make me laugh, get over it.

Or the fact that Eva and I make it a point to pronounce poop, PEWP... rather long and drawn out and giggle about how silly it sounds.  Pewp.

Or that she jokes that she just went potty in the tub and then takes a drink of her bath water.

And we both laugh about it.

Shit, we are gross.

But, back to the preschool.  I read the note, hold back a smirk (I know she shouldn't do that stuff!!  I know it's gross... but it's my fault!  She acts JUST LIKE ME.  I'm inappropriate... I'm sorry!)  and go through the motions of being flabbergasted at such a shocking behavior.

"I'm so sorry."
"I will definitely talk about it with her tonight."
"Yes, you are right.  Completely unacceptable."

Do you know how hard it is to have a conversation with a 4 year about why she can't do something that she LEARNED FROM YOU??

Yeah, I felt about this big: .

That's right.  The size of that tiny period.

Her response was that, "It was just water!  It wasn't really pee!  It was a joke!"

I just told her that only Mommy thinks that kind of stuff is funny, because Mommy is kind of weird.  And, maybe we should just stop with those kind of jokes.

She said, "Okay..."

Then she said, "Mommy, can you drive faster?  I really gotta... PEWP."

And then we both laughed hysterically.

Who's going to hell in handbasket?  This girl!

I've posted this video before- but I find it to be relevant:

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Peeta, not Pita

I've got the fever.  No, not the Beiber-Fever you freaks.

I don't know why.  But, I'm totally in love with a fictional character.  I guess he is 17, just like the Biebs...

And, oh no!  Not him!  All you Twi-hards can keep your sulky, depressive, possessive, Edward Cullen...


Yes, I'm way too old to be so ridiculous.  But, I can't help myself.

The fact that everyone is getting into The Hunger Games just now (even though these incredibly awesome books have been out since FOREVER... well, not forever, but I read them last year when no one gave a hoot about them ) I decided to read the trilogy over again on Friday night.

I don't know if it's the hormones, or what... but, the books are even better than last time.  And, I find myself wanting to jump into the books and squeeze Katniss's fellow tribute from District 12, Peeta.  Maybe it's because I know how the stories ends, or that he's basically written as the perfect person, but I feel weird that I'm in love with a 17 year old, non-existent character from a novel.

At first I was a little turned off that the cute little boy from Bridge to Terabithia was playing my beloved Peeta...  But, since I've seen pictures like this:
*this is the actress that will be playing Glimmer in the movie!
and this:
He does not look 17.
Or this:
you are waaaaay to young for me.
Yes, Josh... You can be my Peeta.
No!  Not that kind of Pita!  But, that does look delicious!

Also, I read somewhere in an E! interview with Suzanne Collins(the author) and she discussed casting Josh as Peeta,
“People may get thrown off by, say, the color of an actor’s hair,” explained Collins of her casting choices. “But I tell you, if Josh had been bright purple and had six-foot wings and gave that audition, I’d have been like, ‘Cast him! We can work around the wings.’ He was that good.”
And, being that there is zero to no sexiness in the Hunger Games, unless you think brutally killing children is sexy in any way, it won't really matter that I now find Josh Hutcherson to be pretty attractive.  I just now trust that Peeta Mellark is being played by someone the author trusts and that is awesome.

By the way, I lub you Peeta.

*disclaimer: This is purely satire.  In no way am I going to jump into my book and hook up with a fictional character.  Also, Josh Hutcherson is 17... and that's kind of creepy.  This is mostly written to make myself, and you, giggle and my sillyness*

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Poetry and Flowers from John

There is a man named John who has visited me at the Pub for about 5-6 years.  He always comes with a flower, sits at the bar, has about 4 glasses of Coca Cola and writes poetry.

John is a Vietnam Vet who suffers from severe Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  He lives in a group home and wouldn't hurt a fly.

He has thought my name is Ashley, all these years.  And, he nicknamed me 'Angel.'  I wanted to share with you the poems he wrote for me on Monday.

Ashley Archer
Clouds you dance
on.  Thunder bolts
you jive.

You give the 
world love.

Great-ness is you

Save us all

Love all people
end of pain

beginning of Joy

When all people
are one.  The stars are our homes.  Humanity
is beyond our little
sphere.  The love reigns,
all people love one 
another.  All voices
heard none 
silenced.  Wisdom 
grows.  Innocence

Day of 
remembering love.
Faith in ourselves.
Free from chains
all of this
When I see you.