We were watching a production (BBC - 1974?? I want to say) of Scene 5- the famous "death" scene in the play and a girl who sits behind me (and mind you, is constantly texting and checking her Facebook) murmurs, "This is like, so stupid. It's like, so unrealistic."
THANK YOU FOR ENLIGHTENING ME TO THE SINGLE-HANDEDLY MOST INTELLIGENT CRITIQUE I HAVE EVER HEARD. My view of Shakespeare is forever changed.
Yes, I was just using the sarcasm font.
This play was published, I want to say in- 1597? That is over 400 years ago, and we are still studying it! This is one of the most poetic plays that I have ever read. There are so many themes to be discovered, and so much metaphor, ahh! It's an incredible work of literature, of art. It is simultaneously tragic and beautiful. And, to sit in a college level classroom, with other English majors and hear some ignorant girl mutter something so mundane and generic just got UNDER.MY.SKIN.
I turned around and asked her if she'd rather watch the love story unfold in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days."* She returned my question with pursed lips and her eyebrows raised. Don't worry, I gave her the "bitch-please-you-don't-phase-me" look right back. Because, let's be honest- no one phases me.
Why go to college and study literature if you do not appreciate it? You don't have to like this play... As another girl, Dana, later pointed out during discussion, she doesn't believe Romeo, despite being a protagonist has any true redeeming qualities- and further, she explained WHY. This is a true critique, this is the type of thing I expect to hear and discuss in a college level Shakespeare course.
Obviously, this play is like, not like, realistic. It's a play, and it's a play that was written over 400 years ago! I swear, college campuses are becoming a mecca for the unintelligent- all these kids care about is partying and looking "cool." Rarely, in any of my classes is there debate. Everyone just wants the answers to the test. It's disheartening.
But, Romeo and Juliet- it is breathtaking! A classic! C'mon guys! Here is Act 3- Scene 1 in the 1968 Zeffereli version:
I couldn't find the entire scene in this version that shows Romeo killing Tybalt.. But, you get the picture.
Looking at the modernized, 1996 version of the same scene... Yes, it's definitely one of the loosest interpretations of the play, but it's still amazing! And brilliant!
Moral of the story- Romeo and Juliet is awesome and, if you are going to take college level coursework.. be serious about it or PLEASE quit wasting every one's time and stay inside watching Jersey Shore re-runs. JEEZ. Snookie wants squish squish. And, Azia want's you to shut your freaking mouth!
*author's note: I thoroughly enjoy romantic comedies, and find pleasure in the above mentioned movie. please take no offense!
Every Monday I will be answering a new question about myself. The list of questions is located under the tab: 30 Things : Meet Me. Last week I told you about 3 Legitimate Fears. This week it will be a little more personal.
Question 3: Describe your relationship with your parents.
Sigh. To be honest, when I saw the topic for this this week, I felt completely overwhelmed. I wanted to change the question- the dread churned to a thick, butter-like consistency in my stomach. But, what's a challenge if not in fact, well, challenging?
My knee-jerk reaction was to make a joke of it. "Relationship!? What relationship!?" HARDYHARHARHAR because I am so not bothered by the lack thereof. I mean, I'm a strong, independent woman and nothing phases me!
But, the relationship with my parents, or more appropriately, the lack thereof- is the epicenter for the nasty, unhealthy words that I try my hardest to steer clear of. You know the words: resentment, insecurity, pain, loneliness, frustration.
I am going to try and answer this question with as much as honesty as possible, but you- my dear, dear readers- I must ask you to do something for me. Please, please do not pity or judge me. Every day children are born and no person has control of their circumstance, whether it be privileged or not. There are plenty of people who have had it much harder than I have. It is once a child reaches adulthood that they have the ability to reflect on the hand that was dealt to them and then choose one of two paths:
a.) to either dwell on the hardships (past, present and, future) if born into an unfavorable circumstance or to not recognize the fortune of their life if they are of privilege
-OR-
b.) they can grow in wisdom and be more then what happened to them.
In my strongest moments, and most recent years, I've been aiming for option "b." I'm thankful for the hardships I have endured, because I feel they have given me a true sense of humility and understanding. I also appreciate everything that I have, because nothing has ever been given to me. My work ethic is one of my greatest strengths.
I'll start with the less complicated, slightly harder story first: the relationship with my father, Ron.
In order for you to understand the entire story, I'm going to send you back to December 2011 when I blogged about his death: If Only... I do not have a father that walks this planet any longer. And, in the 6 years I had to get to know my father, I did not use them. I was very weary and mistrusting. Without divulging too much personal information, I have been hurt by more then one man who lived under the veil of "father figure." Not to mention, I never had much of a family to begin with and didn't quite know what to do with one. I was 19 years old when he came back into my life. I was naive, broken and, stubborn as hell. This is the only picture I have of us together. I'm 6 weeks old.
This relationship will always be a source of confusion for me. I harbor a lot of resentment towards both him and my mother. I am angry that they weren't mature enough to put their differences aside and do what was best for their child. I can't really go any further into it, because it just makes me so sad, and I don't feel like being sad. I don't easily escape sadness. It has a way of enveloping my mind once I let it in, always overstaying it's welcome.
It's really just the unknown that will always plague me. And, there is no wisdom to be gained from dwelling on things that one cannot change. It's just, I really needed a father. A true father, who loved me like a daughter and in no other way. Who would protect me as I left childhood behind to face adulthood. I never had that. I really, really needed it.
"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection."
-Sigmund Freud
Now to move on to my Mother. I will go into as much detail as necessary, but no more. This is already such a long post and if I were to talk about EVERYTHING that lead up to where we are now- I'd have a novel, possibly a trilogy. Moving on, I have always had a complicated relationship with her. As of now, we only communicate via text messaging. I know that she would like more than that, she has tried to call me recently, but I just can't bring myself to answer.
I care about her, because she is my mother. I am a mother, I know what it's like to bring life into this world... but that's also the double edged sword because motherhood has been so effortless that it makes me question if my Mom ever really loved me.
Growing up, I always felt I was on the back burner to her greater agenda, a second thought, a nuisance. I don't have many memories of baking, crafting, playing outside, reading stories, etc. I was honestly told to be quiet so damn much, that for my elementary and middle school years, I was just a weirdo. Some of you who are reading this and have known me since then probably know what I mean. I was timid and odd, which is what happens when you are constantly screamed at, or your bedroom ripped to shreds, because you breathed in the wrong direction. Later, it turned into serious teenage angst. But, there really isn't a need to get into all that.
To quickly summarize a long line of events, I will just list off her more "important" relationships. There was my Dad, then my sister's Dad, then, Patrick and then random relationships (the guy with the dog and the crazy lights, Robert with the hot tub, etc.) and then Barry. All of those relationships took place in California. She married Barry when I was 10 and then the 4 of us moved to Minnesota. When I was 12-13ish, they separated, tried to reconcile and by the time I was 14, had divorced and my Mom had moved back to California, leaving my sister and I behind. A few months later, on my 15th birthday, my Mom sent for Megan and she moved to California. I stayed with Barry for the remainder of high school, living with him and his brother. As you can imagine, the relationship has been full of ups and downs ever since.
Long story short, she has yet to grow up fully. Her life has been one chaotic event to the next. I'm never sure if it's her fault, or if she has seriously bad luck and awful judgement when it comes to love. That has been the hardest part. To love someone, because she is your mother, and you know that some days she is trying- but to feel so much anger and frustration towards her. She gave me nothing to go on. She left me hanging, without foundation, without security. I think that is why when I develop a relationship with someone, friend or lover- I love them with everything I have. I value my connections, they been a source of strength throughout the years because I have never had a family to rely on. Once I have made a deep connection with a person, I am loyal until the end.
I have to say, I do love my Mom. I feel the need to clarify this. I know that she too, had a dysfunctional childhood that she never left behind. She is a woman of many sorrows. But, it doesn't take away from the pain and sorrow that she has caused me and my sister. And, until I can make peace with her broken promises, hateful words, childhood neglect- our relationship will only be through text messages. You just can't wake up one day and make the pain stop. But, I will always keep trying to maintain some type of relationship, and to hopefully grow in a way that allows me to move past the angst of my younger years and embrace the wisdom of adulthood. To hate takes far greater effort than to love.
"And it came to me, and I knew what I had to have before my soul would rest. I wanted to belong- to belong to my mother. And in return- I wanted my mother to belong to me."
-Gloria Vanderbilt
This is the song that was playing when I met my daughter for the first time. I'm not a John Mayer fan per se, but this song will always ring true to me..
Yesterday, Eva and I drove into Minneapolis and met up with my dear friend Sarah and her daughter, Evelyn. We picnicked in the sculpture garden and spent a lot of time wandering, talking, and watching the girls play. It was abnormally warm for March in Minnesota (close to 80 degrees!) and was the perfect way to spend a Saturday.
They ran up and down this hill about 50 times, no joke.
Which is why after 5 minutes of being in the car, Eva was like this:
Not only was it a beautiful day full of awesome company *BUT* Sarah brought me a gift!
Yes, you are not seeing things. This is a personalized, autographed copy of Lady Oracle signed by the ever talented Margaret Atwood! Sarah got to listen to her speak and meet her at the AWP in Chicago a few weeks ago! She was able to get 2 books signed and got one signed for ME! Ahh! THANKYOU!
"I read for pleasure and that is the moment I learn the most."
I wanted to share this hilarious video with you guys. I find it to be very entertaining but it may only interest the creative writers out there! Sorry to leave some of you out... But, honestly- this video is pretty funny even if you are a non-writing nerd.
Geoff Herbach is one of my professor's at MSU and I absolutely adore him. (He may or may not be the professor whom I have referred to as genius here and there. Heh!) This is 1 of 5 videos that will be posted on Figment.com for a feature called: Stupid Craft. Stupid Craft is aimed at the novice writer and will be offering valuable tips and writing exercises. Figment has a mostly "teen" following, but there are plenty of older members too.. It's a great writing community and I'd definitely recommend checking out the site- as well as following all 5 of the Stupid Craft videos.
This particular segment is on concrete detail and makes me giggle like a little school girl. There is lots of awkward humor, which I completely eat up. I'd love to hear/read your enhanced version of the "bad" sentences from the video:
Bobby was such a nice boy. He would help people who needed to be helped. But something wasn't right. Bobby felt sad every day of his life.
Leave a comment or send me an email at: azia.archer@gmail.com (if you don't feel like sharing with everyone!) Like I said, I'm very interested to see how you play around with it!
Hey guys, I just wanted to send you over to Sarah's blog: So... What Else? where I answered a few questions about the world of blogging! Please take a few minutes to go check it out!
Also...
I decided to make Facebook page. Because, I'm so engrossed in Social Networking! WOO! So, if you are on Facebook- I'd love it if you'd "Like" azia said what? Facebook edition!
THANKS! You are all the BEST!
And Happy Way Back WHENsday: Here's a picture of my sister Megan and I when we were kids:
