Thursday, April 5, 2012

Cantaloupe Boobs : A Poem

A couple of days ago, one of my favorite bloggers- Mrs. One Day did something *really* neat on her blog.  She read an entry out loud and posted the link so you could listen!   I really enjoyed it and, decided to follow in her lead!  (You should also hop on over to her page and start following her blog!)

I have decided to share with you a rather silly poem I wrote a couple weeks ago.

I hope you enjoy!

Cantaloupe Boobs
Written by Azia Archer

Boobs are just big balls of fat that allow you to take 8 pounds off of your actual weight because
really each one weighs four pounds right
when they are the size of canaloupes and all your friends get to wear the cute clothes and you’re stuck
with cantaloupes for breasts
the men gawking at you like you’re naked and touching yourself
exposing so much skin it should be a crime but really you are just trying to wear a fucking tank top
because it’s so hot outside and you are sick of sweating– of the sweat dripping
between your boobs a slip and slide for ants
and your bra is sticking to you and it makes you want to scream and and laugh and take a shower.


  1. Ha. This made me giggle. And to think I always wished for bigger ones so men might actually notice I had some. Go figure!

    1. It's a love/hate relationship! That is for sure! ha!

  2. Nice. I'll be back for the audio when I'm not behind this firewall.

    1. Woo hoo! You'll be back!

    2. I was. It was even better with you reading it.


    I have lots of comments on this. LOTS.

    a)Thank you so much for pimping my blog. You're the best. I love you so much! Come visit so we can hang out and do friend-y things!

    b)I have the same boob problem. While my boobs are indeed glorious, it is so difficult to wear cute little tees with words on them because the words get all stretched out and warped across my ample bosoms. I feel your cantaloupe boob pain.


    d)I <3 your voice. It's actually just how I envisioned it in my mind, so that's cool.

    e)Of course you can deduct at minimum 8 pounds!


    1. I love that you just called me a pimp. HOLLA! Haha :) I hate my voice, so- I'm glad you like it! It's nasaly (spelling????) or something!

  4. this is awesome. i love how you say "cantaloupes." you have a great reading voice!

    1. I was trying really hard to not let my Minnesota accent take over the damn thannnng. Ya know, fighting stereotypes like a boss!

  5. You didn't sound nasaly. Everyone sounds more nasaly on audio than in real life. You have a nice voice. I love your MN accent;) So cute. Sorry about your big hot boobs. Wait, that sounds like I'm being bitchy and sarcastic, but it really does sound miserable to have big boobs in hot weather. My little boobs are miserable in hot weather, so I can't imagine if they were bigger.

  6. I am glad this idea is taking off. I want to hear every blogger's voice.
    My boobs only weigh two ounces. They're tiny. Not once have they impressed anyone enough to give a stare.


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