Today I'm participating in the ((Insecure Writer's Support Group)) -- click the image above to check out other people's entries!
Since it's November- it's also NaNoWriMo-- and boy oh boy! If the task of getting 50,000 words down in one month isn't enough to make you an insecure, nervous wreck-- I don't know what is! Being a writer takes work-- it takes WRITING. When you have two kids, finding the time to write isn't as easy as it sounds.
On the days that I don't get the chance to write a smidgeon of my WIP (writing for my 2 blogs does not count as "writing" time for me)--I feel like a failure. Thoughts of doubt race into my brain, "How am I going to do this?" But, then I remind myself-- I'm 26 years old. I have a lot of time in my life to dedicate to writing. A lot of time. And, not everyday is going to be a day that I can get down everything I want.
You can't write a novel overnight- and like Hemmingway said- "The first draft of anything is shit." But, I want to hit the 50,000 word count for NaNo BADLY! (Is it for gratification purposes? I don't know-- but it would be pretty awesome to see a NaNoWriMo winner badge over on that side bar!)
Plus-- I just want to get all of these words out of my head! Somedays I'm such a terrible listener because I'm working out dialogue or plot ideas... I just need to find the dang time to get them out. Luckily my friend Sarah gave me a tape recorder-- so the days I can't sit down and write it out, I can talk into the recorder quickly and listen to it later.
Not only am I afraid that I'll never find the time to finish a novel-- I'm also afraid that my story will be completely uninteresting/horrible. I'm currently writing a dystopian YA Adam & Eve story for NaNo-- and after that, I plan on writing a dystopian story about the split of the USA. Gah. (Yes- I was a Creative Writing major with a minor in Political Science for this very reason!)
Writing makes me nervous and anxious-- yet, also makes me feel alive. Now I know why they say all writers are crazy.
“So what? All writers are lunatics!” -Cornelia Funke
(embrace it)
I hear you and I share your pain. I'm a busy, working mom, too.
ReplyDeleteHang in there and don't give up. It'll happen! :)
I think we all share your fears, Azia. Just keep keeping on... You'll get there. I will follow your blog with interest.
ReplyDeleteI read the entire post and guess what stuck out like a dirty diaper? You're only 26! Okay, truth is I was 26 once, I can't remember that clearly, but I had to have been 26 at least once, right? Thinking... Okay, I won't digress and bore you to tears, except to say I raised 5 boys, 6 counting DH, so I totally totally get it. Just remember to take a deep breath, pile on the veggies when you do eat, and think moment to moment. IOWs, don't fret the small stuff.
ReplyDeleteHi Azia, new follower via the IWSG. I admire those of you doing NaNo. I could never do it, not with that much pressure. Yet I did crank out a 90,000 word novel in a month. It's even traditionally published now. The trick is preparation, an outline to follow. Some people say they can't do it that they, that they're pantsers, but think of the outline as the first draft, pantsed all the way, then run with it. I wish all the luck in the world!
ReplyDeleteI'm with C. Funke; we're all lunatics (in a good way!). And, you should embrace it. Grab it, flaunt it, shake it around, show it off, wave it in the air and so on. Those fears are normal. It goes with the job. Keep your chin up. Keep writing. :) Hopping over from IWSG.
ReplyDeleteHi Azia and welcome to IWSG. I can certainly relate to your comment about not being a good listener. I do try to be, but my imagination is inspired by something someone says to me and I'm off! Lost in my own thoughts, it is not until another word takes my interest that I return to the conversation. A nasty habit and one I need to curb.
ReplyDeleteThanks for participating in IWSG this month.
CarolynBrown-Books
I'm a new follower, and you're right, writers are a crazy bunch. Good luck on your NaNo goals and don't forget that any progress is "winning." :-)
ReplyDeleteWhile writing keep reminding yourself of what Hemmingway said, this way you won't worry so much about the words being perfect. That's what revisions are for. Good luck with Nano!
ReplyDeleteI have two kids, as well, and it is tricky finding time to write! I get very distracted with stories playing through my head, as well, and I feel bad, because it has been really extreme lately. But people have to understand that this is what we do. Good luck with NaNo!
ReplyDeleteShannon at The Warrior Muse
At least you've got age on your side. I didn't start writing until I was 41, and it took me six years to get a novel published. And I agree, it's extremely difficult to write with all kinds of distractions (family underfoot, work, etc. etc.) but it sounds like you got preserverance and that is everything.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on using the contest as a motivational tool for your writing.
Great idea about the tape recorder. Sometimes ideas fly by so fast I can't catch them and write them down fast enough and away they fly. I hear what you're saying about being so busy- I've got 5 kids to keep up with. I never find time, I have to make it or it just doesn't happen.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get a winner badge!! Keep at it :)
Lex